


Crawling Violet

by zirconsnow



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 17:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11109180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zirconsnow/pseuds/zirconsnow
Summary: Sakuya doesn't understand.





	Crawling Violet

**Author's Note:**

> stress relief

Usui’s eyes always light up when the director walks into the room, when Izumi smiles or doesn’t, when she was there. Sakuya likes to think he doesn’t mind. No, he likes to think he’s behind Usui’s affection, taking care of him and of what he does, making sure he doesn’t go too far while also cheering for him. He likes to think that, even though he understands little of what this weird love means, what it means to Usui. 

 

He likes to think that, yeah, but at the same time his chest aches and he’s sure that’s not right. Seeing him both makes him feel warm and hurt. Makes him feel happy, but then not quite when Izumi’s there and Usui’s all over her and her attention and- He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the feeling or that he’s feeling it at all. He wants to help and cheer him on, he doesn’t want to be hurting and confused and feeling so ugly from something that crawls up his throat so bitterly it makes him want to throw up. 

 

Jealously? He looks at the ceiling as he stays awake in bed one night. Is that it? He doesn’t understand, can’t make sense of thoughts and feelings that have never assaulted him like this. To feel happy when you see someone, to talk to them, to feel lightness along with irrational weight over every small thing, to get angry and feel gross and heavy when they were so in love with someone else...what is that? What was that?

 

The answer that comes to mind is quick and obvious, but he shoves it to the back of his throat together with heavy tears and a toss of his  of his pillow all the way to the floor.

 

Citron doesn’t wake up, and the night goes on. 

 

He wakes up the next morning with an aching throat and itchy lungs. He scratches lightly as he coughs, wonders if he stayed up too long the night before. Citron asks if he’d like some water, and Sakuya agrees with a smile and an all too quiet ‘please’. He gets down from his bed to wait for Citron, tries to swallow down lumps and coughs harder. Citron comes back looking worried, glass of water in hand and Tsuzuru standing closely behind. Sakuya smiles apologetically as he takes the water, then takes a sip slowly. 

 

“It’s a good thing it’s weekend…” Tsuzuru mumbles as soon as Sakuya chokes on water and coughs. Sakuya wipes his face with his sleeve, feels his eyes burn and throat knot when he does his best to breathe. 

“Oh, I will go bring medicine?” Half-asks Citron, and Sakuya tries to shake his head and say he’ll get it himself. Tsuzuru interrupts, nods and answers with a “yes, please”. 

 

When Citron comes back with what he could find in the dormitory, Sakuya does his best to drink the medicine past the pain that’s somehow only increasing. Tsuzuru gives him a worried look before leaving the room, tells him to keep his throat covered before coming out. Sakuya nods, stares at the garden through the door past Tsuzuru and sighs. He hopes it goes away soon, he can’t practice with an aching throat. 

 

__

 

Usui’s focused on the director as usual, puppy ears and tail almost visible to even Sakuya as he watches him welcome her back home. He’s wearing a scarf despite the not too cold weather, but no one has asked anything so far, he guesses they’ve all heard him cough all day. He watches them interact over his notes for some seconds before Izumi looks up at him and smiles, a hand patting Usui’s head to keep him calm. It’s cute, Sakuya thinks, and the pain increases tenfold in less than a second. He coughs, and Izumi approaches with a worried look. Sakuya apologizes when he can speak again, says he’s caught a cold. Izumi offers to make some get-well-soon curry, and Sakuya laughs a little awkwardly before nodding, it actually didn’t seem so bad. Usui sulks from behind Izumi, glares at Sakuya before putting on his headphones and sitting down in the couch closest to him. 

 

When Izumi leaves with a ‘get well soon’ to prepare food, Sakuya hears Usui mumble something a lot like ‘bothersome’ before he picks up his phone to probably switch song. Sakuya says a quiet ‘sorry’, feels something crawling up from the back of his throat and swallows. Usui shrugs, leans back to look at Izumi. Sakuya laughs, turns back to his notes with the horrible smell of something wrong burning the back of his mouth. 

 

__

 

He wakes up on Monday thanks to itching and pain and a coughing fit that leaves him breathless and crying. There’s something crawling up his throat, he can tell, and he’s scared. He thinks about school, if going would be a good idea, thinks about waking Usui up and gets yet another fit of endless coughing. CItron doesn’t seem to be awake yet, since he hasn’t moved to ask if he’s okay. He places a hand to his mouth, tries to hold back through terrible ripping but ends up in more pain. He’s shaking when he finally manages to calm down somehow and breathe somehow properly again, eyes tearing up from it all. He’s shaking and it’s hard to breathe, scratching from inside his throat still insistent and pressing. He sits up and sees Citron is now awake, worry all over his face. Sakuya looks at him with running tears, is about to say he’s fine when he tastes red. 

 

“Sakuya

 

there’s blood on your face”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know if there's any typos or anything


End file.
